Vox Somnus
December photo project aside, I want to share (with permission of the subject) a little experiment I have been conducting. It seems that my lovely wife, Ellen, is a bit of a sleep talker. Which is funny because she isn’t a vivid dreamer (side note: I am a very vivid dreamer, like the time I dreamt I was the cameraman for a show combining Deadwood and The Office. Jim, dressed in cowboy clothes giving me the ‘whaddayaknow’ look. Crazy, I know). She rarely remembers dreams, but something is going on in the subconcious because she does communicate with me in the wee hours.
The first episode, shortly after we got back from the homeymoon, went like this:
Ellen: mmph. nnn. guh.
Kelly (thinking E is awake): hmmm? what did you say, babe?
E: GGrrrfff. budguh. mmmm.
K (knowing I am getting a bit hard of hearing): Sorry, Love. I’m not hearing you. Say again?
E (after a few seconds): The guests can shoot the cake.
K: WHAT?
E: The guests can shoot the cake.
K (realizing that his lovely wife is a sleep talker): Oh, that’s nice babe.
E: mmph.
So now the fun begins. I realize it may be evil, but I figure if Ellen is going to wake me up talking in her sleep, I may as well have fun. Karma being what it is, though, my experiment bit me in the butt next time around, a few weeks later:
E: mmph. blrb.smmf…
K (ready to mess with her): I love you, honey.
E: I know.
I totally got Han Soloed on that one…
And now Ellen is getting more complex with the sleep talking. Just this week:
E: hhhhhhmm. vvgn…
K: What’s that love?
E: dfdfdfd. humnnnnnn.. ahhshhh.
K (thinking she may actually be talking for real): Not getting you, love. What was that?
E: My clothes…
K: yes?
E: are open…
K: uh huh.
E: are open… season…
K (ahh, sleep talking): OK, babe.
E: I’m not wearing any clothes… mmmmffffffffffff….
K (chuckles quietly):…
So there you have it. My wife sleep talks and I try to have fun at her expense. She suggested I post them for posterity, so here you go. More updates as events occur.
December 13th, 2009 at 9:21 am
That is one of the funniest blog posts I have ever read.
December 13th, 2009 at 6:46 pm
I am SO glad you’ve been able to confirm the sleep-talking — she all but called me a liar when I first told her I’d heard her talking. She was loud enough that I could hear her through the door!
I once got one of my friends to tell me a “story” about a gazebo and an orange. Or was it an onion? It may have been both.
December 18th, 2009 at 10:48 pm
That’s fantastic. My husband talks in his sleep too! Its hilarious. Love it.
March 9th, 2010 at 6:55 am
It may have been ages ago, and I haven’t driven by in ages – but I love the comment that ‘the guests can shoot the cake’.. it practically sounds like the beginning of a short story.
And where is LN’s blog gone?
March 9th, 2010 at 7:20 am
She is having some hosting problems that are taking a while to iron out. Hopefully it will be back soon.